You Don’t Want To Read This Blog.

April 13th, 2013

Guys, I’ve had fucking enough.

Two. Two suicides recently of teenage girls who have suffered unspeakable things. Worse than that, in trying to move through what happened to them, their communities around them let them down in unspeakable ways by questioning, blaming, and dismissing what happened to them. I don’t even have words to describe what they likely went through – and even if I did, most people would not understand.
These events followed another widely-publicized suicide last year of a victim of extreme bullying. And these are only the few that we know of. How many more have died silently without anyone in the media taking notice?

Let me tell you something about suicide and self-harm from someone’s who been there and has learned to quiet – not silence, but calm and lull into submission – the urges. At the core, any serious self-harm is an outlet: for feelings, for sorrow, for emptiness and darkness, for loneliness, for fear, for that unshakeable lump in your throat… for anything so intense that it can’t be put into words, and even if there were words there’s a huge risk of being misunderstood. Of being abused again. Of being marginalized, isolated, and judged. The embarassment and trauma of being labeled a self-harmer and/or being put away in a psych ward is often worse than the original behaviour.

Anne Sexton calls the desire to harm or kill oneself “the most unnameable lust”, and that is probably the most accurate description I have ever heard. It’s not a natural lust, it’s a learned one. The learning comes from trauma and abuse, whether mental or physical or both. Sometimes genetics are a factor, admittedly, but they’re not the only factor. Without going into the hard science of it, suffice to say that a serious trauma (such as a rape) combined with increased bullying is going to overload the brain, especially when allies are few and far between. Like a puppy separated from its family and kicked repeatedly, chemically speaking someone in that situation would be nearly devoid of any of the “good” chemicals, and have ones like adrenaline and cortisol flooding in. And logically, that’s going to trigger extreme behaviours.

Most people can’t understand why others commit suicide, because they’ve never had that special brain cocktail. And I pray to whatever higher power may be listening that those people never experience extreme trauma and that suicide doesn’t become even more of an epidemic than it already is. (Which is not to say that I don’t agree with assisted suicide in cases like terminal illness. But that’s a whole other discussion.) My point is that those girls – and certainly countless others – were so isolated, so abused, so shamed, so vulnerable, and in so much pain that death was their only option to make all of the voices stop. I understand how the urge to die works, because I have fucking been there. I’ve been through enough trauma that I’ve kept my back pressed to the wall and legs glued to the floor as I stared down subway trains… but at the end of the day, I’m not good at quitting, and apparently that extends to quitting life. So, in that respect, I guess I’m lucky.

They say that suicides are either under- or over- stated. Hanging oneself at home, or anything done in private, is an understatement. Anything that happens publicly where many others are likely to be impacted is an overstatement. One thing I’m sick of hearing is that suicide is a selfish act. It may be selfish, but the hard truth is that we as a society have become so selfish that we don’t seem to notice or care when someone else is struggling. Like a pack of animals we think only of tearing down the weak and vying for alpha leadership.

And I’m done. I’m done with being selfish and with letting this happen to young women. Done with letting young men believe that rape and death are acceptable to inflict on anyone. This goes both ways; recently in my city, a young man was raped by four women. I find this just as appalling and I hope those women are caught. Here’s the thing though – punishment and fear are just going to lead to more of the same. And I’m fucking tired of our society being caught in a broken loop where we create broken people.

So, I’m starting something new: set-me-free.org (it’s currently in development). I believe we can be free of rape culture, free of abuse, free of bullying, free of gender issues, free of eating disorders, free of the desire to harm ourselves. I need to let those suffering out there know that they are not alone. And I need your help. I’m running an Indiegogo Campaign to get the site up and running and to start reaching out to schools and social networking sites to build partnerships. Please help spread the word; share this blog post if you want. I don’t want anyone else to follow the siren call of “that unnameable lust.”

Hello midnight, my old friend…

March 24th, 2013

And hello blog, it’s been awhile.

I know I say this way too much, but I’ve been busy. It’s good. I’ve officially launched Laughing Cat Productions on Facebook (website coming soon) and have started shooting for Callgirl of Cthulhu, which is a short I wrote and am producing/directing. I’m excited for spring and new developments happening in all areas of life… for example, I’ve been paid for creative work twice in the last week, which is something that I could get used to happening daily, and I am definitely getting closer to that point. And I have more auditions coming up too, including ones for several Fringe projects… it would be nice to do two years in a row of Fringe.

In life-news, I’m like 2 1/2 months out from my wedding, too… Thankfully, all the vendors I’ve been working with have been great! Recently, we decided on Bella Cakes for our wedding desserts, and I was lucky enough to win my flowers, courtesy of Elegant Baskets-Floral & Event Decor Studio. I’m also very excited to have my hair and makeup done day-of by Jamie Hudson at Glam Gorgeous.

Oh, and if you want to have a peek at what Greg and I have in our registry (which we just picked out today) it’s through The Bay, Registry #: 400108637939.

Also, I’ve had two thoughts brewing for awhile that I’ve been meaning to write about, especially for those of you who want to know more about being a successful creative person. One is something that I keep constantly re-discovering, that you absolutely have to know a) what you want and b) how valuable your time and skills are, in order to get the kind of work you want and to be paid accordingly for it. For me, I am happy to do charity shows without pay, provided the money goes to a cause I believe in, for example, but I have a very short list of projects I’d do “for free” at this stage in my career.

Secondly, and this goes for pretty much anyone anywhere… it really pisses me off to have one-sided artistic relationships, where people expect to get attention/support/have me attend their shows/plug their work/etc and then they disappear or go silent when I tell them about my work.
I know I’m not the only person to experience this, and for some reason it seems to be an exceptionally prevalent problem in Toronto where a lot of people are self-absorbed and only care about their own projects. (Straight-up, I know I’ve been guilty of tunnel-vision in the past too, and I am working at getting better at it.) Regardless of who you are, if I like what you’re doing I’ll want to support you in whatever you’re doing, but when you consistently never come to any of my shows and still expect me to come to yours… then you’re getting onto thin ice.
Same with sending Facebook pages to like, to be honest. I’ve been really innundated with “like my page” requests lately from people I never talk to and who (despite having been invited) have never come to a show or screening of mine or liked my Facebook pages. And I want to tell you all now – that’s just not cool. It’s not the way to build friendships OR fans, to be honest. I want to support everyone everywhere doing awesome art – but I can’t do one-sided, energy-leeching anything anymore.

In other words, the bottom line here is that you get what you give (and this doesn’t just go for people in creative fields) so give what you want to receieve.

That said, ranting aside, life has been pretty sweet for me as of late. I am super-grateful to everyone who’s been an active support to me (both in my career and personal life) to this point – you guys are seriously the best, and here’s to more to come, coz this ride’s just started. <3

I used to write beautiful words.

January 21st, 2013

My last year of high school, first year of university and on a little before that… I used to blog compulsively. Daily, sometimes hourly. They still exist in the chasm of the internet if you really know where to look. I wrote love letters to nobody and everyone and specific people all at once, and I think it’s time to start that again.

I’ve been nursing my way through The Artist’s Way, for one. It’s been great at getting me to figure out some of my hangups and to get me to just fucking create stuff rather than angst about it. Still lots of things I want to develop but I’m getting better at just seizing the moment and doing things again. Like painting. Or saying “yes, and…” to synchronicity and connections that come along, rather than find reasons as to why things might fail. It’s amazing, all the shit we let ourselves get bogged down under.

One thing that’s been on my mind a lot as of late is just how important it is to approach everything in life with love and joy, rather than guilt or anger or obligation or any of that. I’ve had auditions I was angry about. I’ve had more than one occasion where I was jealous of some other actor for getting something I didn’t. Truthbomb: we ALL have. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. As a performer (especially when looking for work) there’s already so much you can’t control – like if you look ‘right’ for the part – so you might as well love the everlasting shit out of what it is that you’re doing in a given moment.

Another epiphany I had recently is how ‘small’ I allowed myself to stay for a long time. Growth is a constant, concentrated effort, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that specifically when I first moved to Toronto and the company I kept in that time (and their backstabbing and gossip and the things they filled their time with and the way they treated other people) didn’t make me feel good about myself or what I was doing, or about my relationships to other people. I got caught up in their petty bullshit and in trying to fit in and trying not to rock the boat, rather than going out and living for myself and aiming for higher aspirations and doing my own work just for the sheer joy in it all. You really are the company you keep, which is why it’s now doubly important for me to surround myself with talented, driven, passionate, positive people.

And a part of this epiphany is how many good people I had around me that I never really made an effort to get to know beyond anything superficial, and how being in a state of constant drama and turmoil with the ‘small’ people kept me from finding the simple joys in life, from spending more time in the good people’s company, in performing… fuck, I’ve wasted a lot of time, but I’m setting the intention not to tolerate that sabotaging behaviour anymore, in myself or in others. And to spend time with people who I think are awesome, to let hangouts happen organically rather than feeling like I’m begging for attention or being super-awkward when I really just want to get to know people and develop awesome friendships.

I’ll be honest, it’s only in the last month or so that I started getting excited about auditions and that I’ve noticed a concentrated yen to be positive and content where I wasn’t before. It may take a bit of time to get used to this new way of being. Same way that I’ve seen people around for the last three years but I’ve only really started to talk to them (and LISTEN, rather than just talk at) and get to know them within the last three months.

Going forward, I only want to do the most amazing work with the most amazing people. I’m not saying this to be limiting – rather, just to create a space and create a possibility to be able to spend a lot of time with excellent people rather than the wishy-washy sort who aren’t invested in themselves or others. When it comes to love, listening, time, and teamwork I’ve got unlimited capital to share.

I’ve got some more thoughts about improv, acting, and neurohacking… but that’s for another post.

And all that said… just to clarify…
1) If I offer you my time (“we should go for coffee!” “let’s work together!” whatever) I MEAN IT. I won’t offer or agree to anything I don’t genuinely want to do.
2) If I ask you about something, I’m listening. No judgment, no obligation, no expectation, no holds barred.
3) I reserve the right to add more rules of engagement as I see fit. I’m pretty low-maintenance and straightforward when it comes down to it.

Strange Days

December 18th, 2012

It’s been awhile, my friends.

I’ve found love as a morally ambiguous biotech company crumbled, begun planning my wedding in earnest, got some kickass new headshots done, become a Hooker with a Vengeance in a Streamy-nominated webseries, got LASIK done last weekend, and attended the Landmark Forum, among other recent adventures. I’ve met some awesome new people as of late, and I’m so excited to be creating new possibilities for 2013.

It’s good to be busy.

I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way, which I can’t recommend highly enough. It’s led me on some crazy adventures; I’ve picked up my own film camera and have a few scripts I’m working on and some exciting collaborating coming up. More when I can… first up I have a quirky short I am ridiculously excited to make. Less blogging and thinking, and a lot more creating these days.

Also, happy holidays to y’all, since it is the season. I hope you get to spend time with people you love.

TIFF ’12, Love of my Life!

September 9th, 2012

Hope y’all are having as awesome of a TIFF experience as I am this year. There’s been a lot of going and doing, and I’m not through yet.

So far, highlights have included the Audioblood party, the opening night of Cinema in Liberty Village (ran into someone I went to high school with and hadn’t seen in ten years), Fashion’s Night Out, Ice T’s afterparty, the Out There VIP Lounge, and the Social Media Lodge.


At Fashion’s Night Out with my ladies from Fresh Collective

Tonight, I’m headed out to the afterparty for Greetings from Tim Buckley, and am looking forward to seeing Tower this week, which has two of my lovely friends in it – Becky Shrimpton and Derek Bogart.

Anywho. If you see me out and about, come say hi!

A couple of other favourite things from this past week… a good friend had her bachelorette, which featured a Pasion Party run by Linzi Edwards. If you’re thinking of hosting one – DO IT. I picked up some delicious cotton candy flavoured lube and she was such a fun hostess! I’d be happy to pass along her contact info to anyone interested.

Today at the Social Media Lodge, I discovered Ice Tropez. It’s close to being a peach wine, and is DELICIOUS. Of course, it’s not available at the LCBO yet but you can pick it up from Natural Vines. Also delicious were cupcakes from Le Dolci. You can never argue with good cupcakes.

Outside of TIFF, my summer’s been packed with acting – season two of Clutch, Zed.TO, and I just booked an episode of Cold Blood, amongst other projects. (Hence there being more than a month since my last update.) Byologyc will be at Nuit Blanche – you shouild come visit us.

I’m gonna go get ready for my night… love to you all!

An Open Call for Documentary Participants

July 24th, 2012

Dear friends and fans: this is a call to action.

Given my recent experience with being wrongfully arrested for reporting domestic violence, I have decided to apply Neil Gaiman’s Make Good Art to the situation: I’m doing a full-length documentary about police misconduct.

Obviously, I am just starting pre-production… and this is where YOU come in. I am looking for people who want to tell their stories. Civilians, ex-police, those still in active service: anyone and everyone who has witnessed or survived police misconduct in any form. I plan to do most filming in and around Toronto, but am also willing to travel should the opportunity arise.

I will be using this blog post to answer any questions regarding the project, and I would very much appreciate this post being shared. For interested participants, please email production@emilyschooley.com a 500 word (maximum) summary of your story.

Thanks in advance. I’m looking forward to making this happen.

Dear Bartender…

June 29th, 2012

I am (almost) sorry, upon some reflection.

You see, for me as an actor tonight, I killed it. I nailed it to the fucking wall and I slit its throat and drained it dry of blood. And I unapologetically loved every second of that.

I’m too real for Hollywood. I’ve said that before and I’ll say it again. I refuse to play “pretty” girls and I am happiest when I am madly in love with a project and its people and I am in over my head. I get a little method, and I go to darker places whenever I can and I care too fucking much about everything and everyone, and nothing makes me happier than when it’s all more real than reality and we are making a beautiful mess.

And that’s what happened tonight, when me as a character was indistinguishable from a “real” person. And I made someone so viscerally angry at that ‘betrayal’ that they reduced me to tears in their own indignation, after they told me something highly personal. But you know what? That other person was an actor too, and they should have fucking known better.

Me as a person? I get it. I get that pain, and like I told you in person I don’t betray other people’s secrets. But that other person also crossed a fucking line that I didn’t see coming – and that threw me for a serious loop. Whatever they brought to it – their own pain, their own bitterness at acting defeats, their apparent shame… that is their problem, not mine. Because I did my job, and I did it so well that it was seamless enough to con another con artist. And for that, I’m proud. I did my job well.

At the end of it? My people picked my ass up and we carried on – and that trust is the greatest feeling in the world. That is why I will continue to act: to tell these stories and to move people, and to be a part of more. Give me a challenge and I’m going to push at it twice as hard, no matter what shit people talk. Backing down or quitting is not in my repetoire.

And at the end of it all, I left the character and went and played pinball and ate octopus balls with my fiance, because that is an Emily thing and I’m more than my past experiences and my work and my people. So, bartender, I hope that you find the same thing someday and that you get over “being on stage.” Because I would rather just be, whatever that means in a particular moment.

swish

ETA: I just realized that this blog post made it sound like someone within the project upset me. That’s not the case. It was a complete stranger who was in the public space where we were performing (and this other person, who was actually bartending, also happened to be an actor) who was clearly triggered by my performance. It’s a lot to think about, but at the end of it, I refuse to see any fault in my giving a good performance.

Lucky Bitches

June 9th, 2012

lucky bitch

Yeah, that would be me. And now, you too.

See, I’ve been doing a whole lot of business and personal development as of late. I (gasp / shock / horror) have taken on work outside of acting – working as a kickass modern Joanie as an office manager for a kickass company. Why? Because, in part, weddings are fucking expensive and I deserve to have the wedding of my dreams. Which, btw, I now have only 363 days to plan. Oh my god you guys!

Obligatory bridezilla gushing aside… no, really. I’ve discovered some awesome resources for acting/life-in-general coaching, and I think you should check these folks out. In no particular order, they are:
-The Lucky Bitch herself – Denise Duffield-Thomas
-Marie Forleo – quirky and passionate career coaching
-Dallas Travers – the actor’s advocate, she’s sincere and spot-on
-The Savvy Actor – marketing tips designed specifically for actors
-Smart Girls Productions – especially US-focused tips for actors
- Gwyn – The Actor’s Market

There’s a few more but these ones really stuck out.

One concept that’s really stuck with me is the idea of an upper limit problem – that is, things have suddenly been so awesome (like way more than ever before) and all of a sudden some really shitty things have started/been happening. You know, things like getting arrested for telling the truth about surviving an abusive ex and domestic violence, and having a bunch of “friends” decide to turn on me and support the abuser. A taxi driver rear-ending me and trying to blame me for it. Or, like what happened yesterday, this web TV show I was supposed to do falling through at the last second because once my first guest and I had arrived to film, the creep-o decided that he was “cancelling our appointment”. Which, btw, he didn’t even have the courage to say to my face. He’s also trying to get out of paying me for the prep work and the shoot date, which I think is bullshit and I won’t stand for. Apparently he has no idea of my lucky streak with winning court cases.

Yes, it’s all kind of shitty, but I’m quite certain that all this is happening because I have gotten a lot more firm about not accepting assholes into my life. That includes asshole cops, asshole men, asshole “friends”, asshole “business associates”, and so forth.

With the creepo from RemicTV, Frank Corbin, I made the mistake of giving him the benefit of the doubt when he “joked” about hiring my services sexually. The fact that he was looking for edgy shows for his web TV station and I had proposed one regarding sex and sexuality does not excuse his behaviour. Hindsight may be 20/20, but I am making everyone aware of his actions and holding him accountable for his inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour, both toward the way he spoke to me and the deciding to cancel the shoot when I was already there.

All that aside. YES, I am always looking for new opportunities and people to work with, and YES I will always 110% be willing to give to anyone who needs my help, but from here on in I am holding EVERYONE accountable for their actions. You tell me you’re doing something, I expect that it will get done. I expect the same thing of myself. If I do work for you, you are sure as fuck paying me for my time and talents in whatever way we agree upon. I am not an actor because I want to work for free for the rest of my life. You wouldn’t work retail or restaurant or pick up garbage for free, why should it be any different in the arts? I give only as good as I get from here on in.

There’s some exciting biz dev news coming up, but I’ll share that when I can. In the meantime, bring it on, universe. I’m just gonna keep smashing through the challenges you send my way and coming out on top.

Theatre FTW.

June 6th, 2012

Dahlia

Oh hi there. So, in the past three weeks, I’ve had the distinct pleasure of working with Sky Gilbert, Volcano Theatre, and a brand new awesome group of people known The Mission Business, on a fun little project called Zed.TO. So, life has been awesome, long story short.

With Sky, I was working on a show called Kitchen Party Nervous Breakdown Reality TV Show – it was a fantastic opportunity to create with other queer theatre artists. One of the things I loved most is that it made me more aware of the dualities that exist in the performing world for non-straight artists: while I still often get pereceived as heteronormative, in truth I am anything but, and I still often am far more drawn to the ‘quirky’ characters rather than the normal ones. Which, really, explains a lot. (If anything, I have had more unique sexual experiences than most people I know – but more on that in a second.)

The Volcano piece was created through Informing Content, an awesome two-day seminar about site-specific theatre, location/dislocation, Lawrence Welk, zombies, democracy, gypsies, and laying prostrate on the floor. It was intense in ways I didn’t expect (mostly, a lot more cerebral than most of my theatre work as of late) but I am very proud of the outcome. I think my problem was that I had too many ideas, was frustrated that I was unfocused, and was frustrated that I didn’t get to use a lot of my ideas… but I don’t think it could’ve come out better if it had been planned. We basically spent the first day brainstorming, the second morning choreographing, and the afternoon/evening rehearsing and performing. People were overwhelmed, I heard some amazing life histories, and I am now suffering serious glitter withdrawl. It was exactly what I needed.

Zed is my current big project, and is pretty much the best ‘theatre’ piece I have ever worked on. I always feel a bit disloyal to old projects when I fall in love with something new, but it’s seriously – in terms of scope, people, plot – something I am seriously smitten with. We have a NXNE, a Fringe, and a Nuit Blanche event… plus one more after that. I found the audition originally by accident through a friend’s FB post, and in an event of amazing synchronicity this is pretty much everything I could’ve hoped for. I have the best fucking sandbox ever to play in, and all of you had better come out to the Fringe event at least one night to experience the event at least one of the ways you might see it. I’m being a little cryptic here, admittedly… your best bet is to check out ByoLogyc’s VIP site, and tell them a lady named Dahlia Joss that I sent you.

Lastly, I’ve got MORE good news – I am piloting a show called SexYOUality on Remic.TV. Basically, it’s the show with no taboos, and we’ll be talking about everything to do with sex and sexuality with an array of amazing guests. I film my first few episodes tomorrow, so stay tuned for more info on airtimes soon!

Here’s to summer!

Why I’m an Actorvist now… (or, to hell and back.)

May 31st, 2012

Remember how when we were little that we were taught to go to a policeman if we were in trouble? That we could count on them for help and protection? As an adult who gets paid to pretend for a living, I just can’t buy into that anymore.

Those of you who’ve followed my blog for awhile have seen all sorts of ups and downs from me, and a good few posts about domestic violence and my own brush with it. How and why to get out of those dangerous situations. What I’ve been public about – until now – is only the tip of the iceberg of my recent ordeal.

I’ve already gone over how my ex, Declan, held me by the throat and made me beg to be let go, how he sliced open my arm with a pocketknife and that I’m permanetly physically scarred from that. How I tried to report him to the police and the officer I spoke with was apathetic to my suffering and chose not to believe me. I’ve told a lot of people about this. I have evidence and witnesses to prove that he’s done these things. I’ve suffered panic attacks and post-traumatic stress disorder from the way I was treated. And I thought I was over all that, finally.

I thought I was over all that until my ex found out that I was engaged to my wonderful fiance, and began to ramp up the harassment once more. Disgusted with his behaviour, I spoke to a lawyer who pointed me to a Justice of the Peace, who told me how to lay a private information. I was thrilled to have someone who was able to see the truth, and who was willing to help me press charges against my abusive ex. Silly me, I thought justice may actually be fair and right after all.

I was so very wrong. Our current justice system is SO skewed that I was ARRESTED – yes, arrested – for reporting the domestic violence I survived. I was arrested by Detective Leslie Morris of 22 Division of the Toronto Police Services, the same officer who didn’t believe me when I’d first tried to report my ex over a year ago. I saw her show up at court and act very amicably with my ex prior to everything happening, and at the time I wondered why she was there. I found out soon enough. The real kicker is that I was arrested at the courthouse when I was supposed to provide evidence against my ex, and the way in which she arrested me prevented me from doing so.

Further to that, despite me having no prior criminal record, I was held overnight for a bail hearing. I was also fingerprinted, photographed, and strip-searched. It was February when I was arrested, and the police took my coat, shoes, and bra – leaving me freezing in a cell with only a thin sweater, skirt, and stockings. Needless to say, the way in which I was arrested and treated, and Detective Morris’ comment of “I told you I’d arrest you if you kept speaking out” made the PTSD and panic attacks re-emerge, hardcore. I had such a bad panic attack while being held in jail that I passed out and hit my head off the floor. Despite repeated calls for help, I believe I was left for about a half-hour without anyone checking in on me. Finally, someone called an ambulance, but the panic attacks have continued for the past three months again.

The one ‘upside’ to being arrested is that you get what’s called disclosure when you go to court – you get to see what the other party is saying about you if you’ve been charged with a crime. What I saw from Detective Morris was that despite me describing to her in detail about being choked, she didn’t mention it in her police report. Not even once. What I saw was that she provided a very unflattering and untrue summary of everything that had gone on, and that her report and documentation were full of inconsistencies and errors. But of course, the police uphold the law so they must be telling the truth, right? Just like people who deny major events like the Holocaust – as bad as something is, if they say it didn’t happen it must not have. Riiiiiight.

Anyway. As of today, the Crown has agreed to withdraw the case if I do some community service. As a favour to myself and other taxpayers, I have decided to take them up on their offer. Why? I could continue to fight this through court just to prove that I am honest and have been telling the truth all along, or I could move the hell on with my life, continue to do great acting work, and start enjoying life again. I am quite certain that I would win if I did insist on this going to trial, but with how flawed our system is, the extra effort’s not even worth it. Nor are the lawyer fees. I’ve defended myself all through this process, including getting withdrawn two peace bond applications filled with false information against me (one from my ex, and one from Liana Kerzner, a friend of my ex’s), and thus far, telling the truth has served me well enough. Besides, I’d be spending those hours anyway, and I’d rather they benefit someone else than just be wasted.

With how much I’ve learned about the system, I’d rather just pass my knowledge on to others so they hopefully have less abrasive encounters with dishonest cops and/or abusive partners. It’s what’s made me such a staunch actorvist the past little while – life is NOT fair, and the good people often get screwed over because the people supposed to be ‘protecting us’ can’t or won’t pursue those actually in the wrong. (Anyone who knows me knows that it’s in my nature to help people anyway, so I may as well get some credit for it. ;p)

My story is by far NOT the only one. Recently in Toronto, a rookie cop doing the right thing by arresting an impaired driver was harassed by other officers – because the person he arrested was a fellow officer. Or look at Byron Sonne, who spent ELEVEN months in jail for his honest curiousity. There’s a million stories of police misconduct out there, and I think it’s time the public hold the police truly accountable for their actions.

As for what I’ve learned? It’s kind of scary, but I hope it’ll help someone else out. Some of this applies to Ontario, Canada, specifically, so please do due reasearch into the laws in your area.
1) If you are ever searched by police without a warrant, make it loudly known that you do not consent to the search but that you will not impede them. This is one of many steps in learning your rights.
2) Any person who believes a crime has been done has the right to speak to a Justice of the Peace and file what’s called a private information. The Criminal Code is available online.
3) If you find yourself in a domestic violence situation – don’t wait, don’t hesitate, don’t try and protect the other person. Report what’s happened to you IN DETAIL as soon as it happens. Don’t skip on details. Write everything down so that you can refer back to it later. Keep a log of everything that happens.
4) You can’t count on anyone else to help you or for anyone else to be invested in your outcome. Not witnesses, not factual physical evidence, nothing. So much can be brushed over or skewed, even when you are telling the truth. If you do hire a lawyer for your situation, take the time to write them out a detailed timeline of events so that they at least have a record of everything that’s gone on. So many lawyers are unprepared and/or apathetic.
5) Conduct in court: come dressed professionally, and be polite. You’d be surprised at how many people overlook this. Essentially, you are playing in the big-kid sandbox, and if you don’t play by their rules, they are not going to be very nice to you.
6) If you’ve been charged with a crime, you have the right to request further evidence against you if you believe there may be anything else.
7) If you are trying to report domestic violence, most courthouses should have a program called Victim-Witness Assistance. Again, don’t wait – get in there right away. If you are charged with a crime and cannot afford a lawyer, court houses also have Duty Counsel who can provide you with basic legal advice. They are often overloaded and underpaid.
8) The criminal justice system is like a cliquey club – they have certain language they use and protocols they follow that seem meant to be confusing for the average person. Acronyms like JPT (judicial pre-trial) and OIC (Officer in Charge), for example. The good news is that Google is your friend, and most lawyers offer a free consultation. Gather your questions and do your research. You DO have the capacity to learn these things. Again, read the Criminal Code. There’s also bodies of rules pertaining to how police must behave, for example, as well as the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
9) Being arrested and charged is NOT the end of the world – they just want you to feel like it is. So much of police and court process is about intimidation, which is why sometimes people get physically beaten when they are not talking and giving police the answers they want to hear.
10) Stick to the facts. As much as you are going to have emotional involvement in what’s happening to you, you will be taken more seriously if you can be relatively objective about everything. A lot of people make the mistake of publicly saying that the police were “out to get them”, etc – whether or not it’s true, prove the hows and whys. Judges also don’t want to hear people ramble on; the more definitive answers you can give, the better. Yes, No, I saw, This happened, etc.
11) The scariest is that the police have an internal records-management system that the public has no access to whatsoever. They can write whatever they want to in there. I’m sure they have a novel or two about me by now, with all these things that I’ve “done”. A little 1984, anyone?

(I just realized this turned into a Ten Things post, so I’m going to stop at eleven for now. ;p)

Anyway. I feel like I’ve been to hell and back with everything I’ve gone through, but point of fact is that I refuse to see myself as a victim – not of domestic violence, not of police misconduct, nothing. I am a fucking SURVIVOR, and I am going to turn this whole shitstorm of bad experiences and getting caught up with bad people into some amazing art and some amazing profit for myself.

Any news outlets who want to cover this story – I welcome the chance. You can contact me at emily dot schooley at gmail dot com. I applaud any of you who’ve actually read this mini-essay, btw. I’ve had a lot to say about this for a long time and I am glad to be at a place where I can talk publicly about my experience with being arrested for reporting domestic violence.

Oh and PS: I guess I’m a ‘real’ celebrity now, now that I’ve been arrested. You’re welcome for the sarcasm.