Posts Tagged ‘improv’

I used to write beautiful words.

Monday, January 21st, 2013

My last year of high school, first year of university and on a little before that… I used to blog compulsively. Daily, sometimes hourly. They still exist in the chasm of the internet if you really know where to look. I wrote love letters to nobody and everyone and specific people all at once, and I think it’s time to start that again.

I’ve been nursing my way through The Artist’s Way, for one. It’s been great at getting me to figure out some of my hangups and to get me to just fucking create stuff rather than angst about it. Still lots of things I want to develop but I’m getting better at just seizing the moment and doing things again. Like painting. Or saying “yes, and…” to synchronicity and connections that come along, rather than find reasons as to why things might fail. It’s amazing, all the shit we let ourselves get bogged down under.

One thing that’s been on my mind a lot as of late is just how important it is to approach everything in life with love and joy, rather than guilt or anger or obligation or any of that. I’ve had auditions I was angry about. I’ve had more than one occasion where I was jealous of some other actor for getting something I didn’t. Truthbomb: we ALL have. Anyone who tells you differently is lying. As a performer (especially when looking for work) there’s already so much you can’t control – like if you look ‘right’ for the part – so you might as well love the everlasting shit out of what it is that you’re doing in a given moment.

Another epiphany I had recently is how ‘small’ I allowed myself to stay for a long time. Growth is a constant, concentrated effort, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that specifically when I first moved to Toronto and the company I kept in that time (and their backstabbing and gossip and the things they filled their time with and the way they treated other people) didn’t make me feel good about myself or what I was doing, or about my relationships to other people. I got caught up in their petty bullshit and in trying to fit in and trying not to rock the boat, rather than going out and living for myself and aiming for higher aspirations and doing my own work just for the sheer joy in it all. You really are the company you keep, which is why it’s now doubly important for me to surround myself with talented, driven, passionate, positive people.

And a part of this epiphany is how many good people I had around me that I never really made an effort to get to know beyond anything superficial, and how being in a state of constant drama and turmoil with the ‘small’ people kept me from finding the simple joys in life, from spending more time in the good people’s company, in performing… fuck, I’ve wasted a lot of time, but I’m setting the intention not to tolerate that sabotaging behaviour anymore, in myself or in others. And to spend time with people who I think are awesome, to let hangouts happen organically rather than feeling like I’m begging for attention or being super-awkward when I really just want to get to know people and develop awesome friendships.

I’ll be honest, it’s only in the last month or so that I started getting excited about auditions and that I’ve noticed a concentrated yen to be positive and content where I wasn’t before. It may take a bit of time to get used to this new way of being. Same way that I’ve seen people around for the last three years but I’ve only really started to talk to them (and LISTEN, rather than just talk at) and get to know them within the last three months.

Going forward, I only want to do the most amazing work with the most amazing people. I’m not saying this to be limiting – rather, just to create a space and create a possibility to be able to spend a lot of time with excellent people rather than the wishy-washy sort who aren’t invested in themselves or others. When it comes to love, listening, time, and teamwork I’ve got unlimited capital to share.

I’ve got some more thoughts about improv, acting, and neurohacking… but that’s for another post.

And all that said… just to clarify…
1) If I offer you my time (“we should go for coffee!” “let’s work together!” whatever) I MEAN IT. I won’t offer or agree to anything I don’t genuinely want to do.
2) If I ask you about something, I’m listening. No judgment, no obligation, no expectation, no holds barred.
3) I reserve the right to add more rules of engagement as I see fit. I’m pretty low-maintenance and straightforward when it comes down to it.

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Give Me Summer!

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012

Busy, busy few weeks. I like it. My condo here in Toronto is about 3 blocks from the lake, so that means lake swimming! I’ve already been in the water this year – I was in up to my neck, and a macho/douchebag looking guy came by, stuck his hand in, and visibly jumped back. When I was in high school I started swimming in Lake Erie in April, so I guess you can say that I’m acclimatized to it. Anyway.

windchocombe night
one of my favourite-ever night-shoot photos

Lots of acting and creative projects as of late. Summer is always the industry busy-time. Right now, I’m involved in about five webseries in various stages of production, and have some script and project ideas of my own bubbling away. In terms of projects, I finally shot the last of the last coverage for Windchocombe, and I am so excited to see how the film looks when it’s through post. I just finally saw and got my copy of the full-length version of Park Enforcer – anyone who’s into gore, I challenge you to watch it and not puke! I also shot a rather emotionally-charged cameo role for the new webseries, Season of the Plague, and am waiting for another recent project, My Screaming Neighbours, to debut online. I’ve recently shot for a couple of pilots, and as per usual, there’s other news I can’t disclose yet. Let’s just say I’m one step closer to working on a film that has needed to be made for a long time.

Also! I’m super-excited to be working with a queer performance group: Kitchen Party Nervous Breakdown.I see how easily and how often I am perceived as hetero-normative, and I am SO excited to change and challenge that. Gender and sexuality will be a topic for a more serious and in-depth post, but needless to say that I’m more than meets the eye when it comes to that department. (But I’m not a robot in disguise, either.)

Improv-wise, I have a kickass new ITC team and Pandora’s Toybox have been doing a few SHAMEBOOK! shows recently, and I am pretty proud of both the format and the people I jam with. There’s nothing quite like exposing your soul via teenage diary readings, let me tell you.

I really wish sleep came in pill form, because there’s so much I want to do. I did actually get to relax(!) a bit over the long weekend, which included a trip to the beach and some TV watching sans simultaneously working on my laptop. The other awesome thing has been watching fireworks from my condo window – I can see about half the city and there were a lot of pretty flashy lights in the sky tonight.

One thing I’ve come to realize how much I enjoy as an actor is that no matter what projects I work on for money, there’s a certain thrill that comes from working with your friends. I was watching David Tennant (you know, the Tenth Doctor) talk about how nervous he was to be working on Doctor Who at the start – I guess that feeling never goes away no matter how far you go. In a weird way, it’s refreshing; working with friends and with people you’ve worked with before, you already have a comfortable bond and you know how the other person works, which means you get amazing results. Or more amazing. Or you just have a ton of fun.

Counting film projects has become a bit like counting exes for me – the significant ones end up on your resume, but there’s often a bunch of one-night stands here and there that you’re not sure whether to include on ‘the list.’ That said, I know I’m well over 50 acting projects, all told, and possibly actually somewhere close to 100. What an amazing thought that I’ve achieved that much in just a few short years! July will mark my two-year anniversary of working solely as a professional actor.

For the moment, though, I am going to achieve some sleep… Summer is bad for making me an insomniac. And here, have some Moby:

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Working Girls!

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

(Not THAT kind of working girl, mind you. And than you to Krissy Myers for the above photo of me)

I’ve been thinking more and more about acting as a business, and my life in general as a business. See, this has come about in several ways and through several people, which I suspect is the universe’s way of smacking me over the head and saying “time to evolve”. Recently I took on some work outside of just performing and creating – I’m now working for Fresh Collective as their office manager/Girl Friday. Aside from working for a great, POSITIVE company with a great product and being afforded some very lucky opportunities for serious personal development, my boss Laura-Jean runs a great Tumblr blog called Becoming a CEO. As another creative professional, I find that her blogs resonate a lot with me and my journey, especially one recent post about internal vs external. I think a lot about where I want things to go, and don’t always take the steps I need to make that happen.

See, I am great at Getting Stuff Done for other people and as long as I’m engaged and occupied mentally, I’m pretty happy and achieving great flow. It’s when I don’t feel challenged and engaged that I find ways to procrastinate – and especially in my own personal life stuff (or when I’m afraid of a new challenge) – I find that I will self-sabotage or neglect the work. If I’m involved in a project where other people are relying on me but I’m not feeling engaged, I tend to slowly start slacking off, and if it’s something for me/my career but I have fears/doubts… well, those dishes need doing and I should read this book and… it goes on and on.

Another inspirational lady in my life as of late is my dear friend and fellow actor Miroki Tong. Much like me, Miroki has a lot of passions and interests – I know I’ve fallen into the trap many times of doing more than I can take on, like having five parties in a night to go to or having acting work plus housework plus personal stuff plus commitments to other people plus fun social pursuits. In one of the recent development books I’ve read, they talked about how quitting is not always a bad thing – a lot of smart people know how and when to quit and it can actually work to your advantage. Miroki’s recent post about “saying goodbye to a Jacques of Trades” also resonated with me because for awhile I was trying to build several businesses in tandem. I am slowly learning how to quit everything that is bad/dead end for me – such as not doing photography as business, not wasting time and energy on people who are not supportive in my life, not eating foods that are going to cause me to feel miserable… the list goes on and on. I’m making it my mission this year to quit as much as possible when I know things aren’t benefitting me any and they are sucking up my time that could be better spent elsewhere.

Lastly, a talented lady musician I know, Late July, aka Nicole Simone posted recently about her experiences with “marketing” her music, rather than just making music. I’m torn on this – it seems like you need to market the shit out of yourself these days if you’re to get “anywhere” at all, but I hate the thought of making art purely for profit rather than for what value YOU get out of it. A bizzare comment from someone who’s regularly in front of a camera, I suppose, especially with my resolve to only take on paid projects this year… but I always make exceptions for projects that have MERIT. If something moves me and makes me want to move others – rather than just stand there and look pretty – I am 1000x more attached to it than something I need to “sell.” I like truth when it comes down to it, I guess, and I can’t “sell” anything I don’t truthfully believe in and feel.

All that said, things have been picking up well for me with acting work lately. Among other things going on, I’ve been recently booked for two upcoming pilots (one I had to sign a strict NDA for, so no details yet unfortunately), am wrapping up my dice living, and there’s some exciting new projects on the horizon for the next few months. Always moving forward. Also, planning a wedding. We just got our first contributor on our Indiegogo campaign towards stag and doe ticket sales so that’s pretty exciting considering I haven’t booked the venues yet.

Lately, it’s all about quitting and refocusing and shifting things around in my life, but I’m getting there.

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On Group Mind and Groupthink

Monday, December 19th, 2011

This past weekend, I just fininshed an amazing improv class at ITC about ‘working as a group’ – that is, honing our ability to participate with a group mind. We had a great instructor and the class was full of awesome, positive, supportive people who I’d work with in a heartbeat any day at any performance venture. And again, in my world, art often imitates liefe.

Group mind is all about drinking each other in, drinking the koolaid – as they say – and working as a cohesive whole to create something awesome. The energy and synchronicity that comes out of being part of a group working together feels SO positive and comfortable. Group mind is all about ACTIVELY analyzing, listening and supporting one another, with everyone playing an equal part in creation but knowing when to go with the ebb and flow. Watching groups work together in this way is magical.

What makes groups who work together with a group mind (whether it’s in the office, on a film, on stage for improv in a writhing mass of people… wherever…) successful is a combination of things. First off, everyone in the group is actively engaged, actively listening to and observing others, and actively participating – which means they have just as much chance as anyone else to steer the group in a new direction and contribute to the overall endeavour. Also, a critical component of a successful group mind is that there is NO negativity and judgment of other group members, or for that matter, those outside the group. Everything is accepted and most importantly immediately supported, all within a safe environment. That’s what allows trust and that’s what lets the magic happen.

Something I’ve been thinking a lot lately about is the functional opposite of group mind – groupthink. (For those curious about what groupthink entails, the Wikipedia article is pretty decent.) I’ve been part of groups that have utilized groupthink – without realizing just what was going on – and the results are not nearly as positive. In fact, I would venture to say that groupthink is highly DESTRUCTIVE.

Here’s how groupthink effectively differentiates from group mind: everyone is NOT an equally valued individual engaging in active participating and listening. People are pressured to be uniform – usually based on aspirations of the group leader – and silence is seen as consent towards the group’s actions. Anyone other than the leader who dares to stir change is often seen as “disloyal”; unlike group mind which is ONLY about members of the group, those falling victim to groupthink are also led to see people outside of the group as outsiders – and often, therefore, wrong. Absolute pure morality of those with groupthink is never questioned – the group is assumed to be “right”, always.

Of the two, I know which I prefer.

I’ve spent a lot of time observing people lately, and contemplating my own past and present actions in a variety of situations. I’ve also spent a lot of time talking with people I trust… and of the groups I’ve been present in – one using group mind and the other being highly partial to groupthink – I’ve made some highly telling observations. In the former group, we’ve had some brilliant discussions. What I’ve seen that is perhaps most telling is an overall lack of overwhelming negativity. Certainly, there’s things that bother us and we discuss them, but one telltale characteristic is an ability to separate dislike of a person’s action from dislike of the person themselves. In the groupthink group, I’ve seen hatred of a person (usually a previous group member) snowball from one small act that went against ‘what the group wanted.’ And that’s happened a little too often for my liking.

There’s a culture of underlying trust, of “I’ve got your back”, of “take that risk and we’ll support you” in the group with group mind. There’s not nearly the same level of judgment that is present in the community that fell prey to groupthink. In the latter, personal risks and choices to make bold moves were rarely acceptable; if you did something too ‘out there’ or if you told the wrong person the wrong thing you could guarantee that the group would turn on you, usually after you were backstabbed by another group member.

From observing people for so long, I get why people fall into groupthink. I honestly don’t blame them for it; it’s something I’ve succumbed to as well. The important thing is to realize when you ARE being inherently destructive – of yourself, of another person – and to be able to safely pull back from the group. It takes a strong person to call themselves or someone else on their faults, but it takes an even stronger person to own their faults and move on from them.

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And now for something completely different!

Saturday, December 4th, 2010

Well, mostly different. In which updates are provided. And eye candy is down below.

I am very pleased to report that Donman lost his case against some of the other girls he was suing, so score one for the good guys! And The Toronto Star editors chose my photo from our article as one of their November favourites.

I am not a huge fan of how tired I look, but it has great composition to be sure. And I am proud to be able to take a stand against those who harm others. Yes, it takes time and effort and can be stressful, but in the end it is much more rewarding to know that you have done your best for what is right and good.

I know a lot of my blog posts have been about things only peripherally related to my acting career as of late, and have read like the ramblings of a manic-depressive complete with grenade launcher monkey on caffeine, but rest assured that I am still going strong, and nothing and nobody is going to stand in my way! For example, I now have more IMDB credits than I did a few months ago, and there are several exciting things coming up in terms of projects for me. Film is a lot of hurry up and wait, so I am trying not to be too impatient in between days on set… One thing that has been going quite well is improv. I am moving on to a third team of fabulous folks from the Impatient Theatre Company, Lincolnshire Poacher, and recently, a group of us had a great time performing at a fundraiser for the Sunburst Award. Thanks to Jim, Candace, Victor, and Dan for joining me!


Photo credit Andrew Gurudata – At Sunburst fundraiser

And now, for the different! One thing I haven’t done in way too long is photography. Hell, I have photos from MAY that I haven’t uploaded yet. But aside from calling myself slacker extraordinaire, the reason I bring this up is because I am selling off the existing prints I have kicking around my apartment. There are multiple copies of a few of them, but most are one of a kind. Once they’re gone, they’re gone… and honestly, they are just sitting in my portfolio at the moment, so I would rather sell them off to people who will appreciate them. And if you are going to buy in bulk or want to purchase in person, let me know! We can work out a deal on shipping costs/etc.

For all of the below, I have posted photos from my DevArt account. Let me know the name or link of the print you want when you do the Paypal thing (or send an email if you’re likely to see me in person), and it’s yours!

5 x 7s – $5 each, including shipping within Canada
I have 5 each of these (and one copy each, available in 8 x 10).

The photos themselves do not have borders.


Name of print or link



8 x 10s – $10 each, including shipping within Canada

One copy each of these.


*Note – print is in colour and features greens.


Name of print or link



11 x 17 – $25, including shipping within Canada

One copy of this.


Name of print or link



8 x 10 of

Thanks for looking!

I would love to promise another fun update soon, but we will see if that happens before Futurecon.
(insert shameless plug here)

Come out to Futurecon!. It will be a great event, and we are fundraising for a great charity – Epilepsy Toronto. Plus, it will be a THREE DAY New Years party… and who else offers three days of fun for the price of one?

And if you have a product or service you think would fit well with the theme – and/or are willing to sponsor a part of the event – we would be very grateful to have you join us. The more money we can raise, the more goes to a worthy cause.

Leonard Kirk, the great comic artist will be there doing sketches. Robert J. Sawyer, his lovely wife Carolyn, Derwin Mak and JM Frey, are four of the talented authors that will be there. We are painting people purple! There will be a demo of some awesome upcoming Xbox games! And a ton more of things to do and unique events!

(end shameless plug)

Really, things are… mostly good. I am working with some great people on some great projects – was on set for some One Week in Windchocombe pickups not too long ago (photos are here for your viewing pleasure) and if anything, I am trying to figure out how to function without sleep because there are so many projects on my plate and items on my to-do list.

Now, off to catch up on accounting! Til next time… love you all!

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Good Things Come in… twos?

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

In theory, anyway. I’ve attended two big events where I’ve met lots of new people, am taking two awesome classes, and get about two hours sleep a night. (Totally joking on the last one, though sometimes it feels like it.)

To start where we left off, I attended a convention in Cleveland in mid-April, Notacon 7, where I was invited to talk about doing independent film-making. Notacon is an arts and technology conference, and there was a great combination of people who were passionate and driven to explore a number of unique avenues – things like using LED circuits in clothing design, anti-forensics, how to survive a zombie apocalypse… basically, anything and everything you could think of.
Part of what made the weekend so great was that all of the speakers had different areas of expertise and interest. While I love spending time with other film/theatre/actor types, it’s also refreshing to have creative, passionate people around who are experts in different subjects. Where else would I be able to practice my lock-picking skills, after all? ;)

One of the best things to come out of the weekend was the suggestion that I should turn my speech into an ebook, which is something I’d never thought of before. When you’re frequently in front of the camera (or auditioning so you can keep working), it’s sometimes harder than it should be to get into a “business” frame of mind and think about the behind the scenes aspects – but I am challenging myself to do exactly that.

Soooo…. I will be releasing the first copies of From Page to Screen, and Everything in Between at the beginning of July. I am looking at a price of somewhere around $5 – $10, basically keeping it reasonable and affordable, but still acknowledging that I’ve put a lot of work and expertise into it. Stay tuned for more!

The second event I was at was Anime North, just this past weekend, to promote Flip’s Twisted World, which is a video game I did voice work for. We had a great turnout of friends and fans, and everyone seemed to really enjoy the sneak peek. (It’s not due out until September, btw, but check it out when it does come out!)
Back a million or so years ago (alright, ten years, give or take) my friends and I used to attend Anime North, and dress up as all the characters from Sailor Moon… so there was a bit of a sense of nostalgia there too. It was great to see all the new and different costumes that people were doing and to get to know them over the course of the weekend. Being on the other side of things – where you’re getting photographed because you’re behind a table, rather than walking around in a cute costume – was a great experience, and part of the reason I enjoy doing promotional work at conventions is because of all the people you meet. One of my favourites was a little boy dressed up as Avatar the Last Airbender… and boy, did his face light up when I gave him a button.
In about a week or so, there should be video coverage up from Anime North, and I’ll be sure to link to that when it’s up.

In acting news, I’ll be filming a feature this month called Stiffs on the Green, which is a dark comedy about golf. Shooting ramps up mid-June, so I’m getting prepared for that and am pretty stoked for what’s in store. I can’t give away too much yet… but expect photos from set whenever I can.

In terms of classes, I’m continuing my improv classes with Impatient here in TO. The first level finished mid-May, and now we’re diving more into the game of the scene. It’s a great opportunity to practice my longform work, and I’m looking forward to continuing the training as long as I can. I love any chance I can get to push myself to be that much sharper, wittier, observant, and direct, and it seems to be paying off.

As for the second class I mentioned, I’m doing acting training with Juli-Ann Kay. What a lot of people don’t seem to realize is that as an actor, you are never done. You are never perfect, you’ve never mastered everything there is to master. Which is why ongoing training is so important for development.
I just had my first class on Saturday, but from what I can see, I am going to benefit hugely from the work. She’s encouraging honesty and directness, which is something a lot of people have trouble with, myself included. It’s easier to skirt around things, to say “um” and not have an opinion, or to never answer a question outright or face your fears head on. I’m looking forward to being pushed.

Lastly, I’ve discovered what I hope will be a new, exciting, and fruitful gym routine, partly thanks to one of my new friends from Notacon. I’ve been doing a fair bit of reading on paeleo/primal eating and exercising, and am incorporating Tabata sprints into my workout. Just tried my first ones last night so in a month or so from now, we’ll see how effective they actually are.

Hope you all are having a great summer so far – I’m loving Toronto in the warm weather!

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Things that are “Pretty Fucking Sweet” this week…

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

(My loving-on posts are in the works, not to worry! I’m just taking time to compile more of a list and more eloquent reasons as to why these people are awesome.)

In the meantime, here’s yet another awesome acting blog for some inspiration: Acting Without the Drama. Ben, the guy who runs the blog (and you can also follow him on twitter: @Actingnodrama) was originally linked to me through my friend and fellow actor Marco Gennuso (who is also on twitter: @MarcoGennuso). Ben is full of practical, honest, and thorough advice which a lot of people don’t bother to give away for free. And best of all, he’s an outgoing and genuine guy who’s great at reaching out to people.
In my humble opinion, if someone’s going to impart knowledge for free, take it. Take what you need and can use from it. Too many people want to make money off being “an expert” in something, and that often comes with a sort of taint that anything given freely does not.

Secondly, a little “yay me!” moment… tomorrow, I’m going to be filming for Global’s new Digital channel. So excited for that! And I’m equally excited to be attending an exclusive premiere of the new Doctor Who on Thursday, hosted by Space. (Even if a lot of you have already watched the torrent. ;p) I’m going to see if I can’t put together a costume set for me and my guest, to go as Eleven and Amy. I promise pictures if I pull it off! ;)

Lastly for now, I started my improv training last night at The Impatient Theatre Company. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on the receiving end of improv in a classroom setting, and boy does it feel good to be back. I’ve taught improv to kids and I’ve played improv games, but there’s something different and almost magical about being able to develop that much more in an open and nurturing setting. I think part of what I really like is that most of my classmates aren’t “actors”, they don’t have that need to perform and be seen. Rather, they’re just honest, open people who are just as nervous on the first day as I am and are more about just being.
The mutual vulnerability is a beautiful thing.
From it comes some very honest work (as funny as it is, it’s also honest and raw to proclaim to a room full of people that you love sex, or that you love orgasms, or that you love your daughter) and to me, that is what the root of acting should always be. The truth. Not your own personal truths as you as an actor. Your character might or might not be worrying about that huge pimple on their face or whether their hair is perfect or whether you fed the dog or whether another actor on set is prettier than you are. That stuff’s all crap when you step into a role but so many of us can’t shake it off 100% of the time, myself included. Improv is so freeing from that. It takes you out of your head and makes you hungry for the truth, for those moments of honesty and those sparks of connection between you and others in the scene. It’s about those connections between people, and man, is it ever Pretty Fucking Sweet.
(And that’s why I’m so happy to be doing it, because I need it and I crave that expansion beyond myself.)

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