The Life of an Actor

I’m not an angry girl, I’ve just got everyone fooled. – Ani DiFranco

Did you know it was international suit day recently? Enjoy the self-portrait.

I know my last several blog posts were an explosion of drama. And I’m sorry that there seems to be more on its way… but I’ve never been one to keep my mouth shut when there are blatant wrongs that need righting. And so, much like most of my acting career, I fight for what I know to be true, fair, and just. Drama first, get it out of the way, then discuss some of this and its applications to the craft of acting. Promise.

One battle down is that Renaissance Collection Agency in Hamilton has agreed to close my file there, with regard to James Donman/John H. Lennon Music/Music Line International/Head Redme/whatever else he calls himself in his pathetic attempts to scam money from young women who unknowingly audition for him.
Bill Konow of Renaissance Collection Agency assured me via email that I was the only person he was contracted to collect for the above party. I do hope this is the case, and that he has heeded my words about James Donman. In the meantime, I am quite content to continue to support the other amazing women unfortunately victimized by James Donman, and will do everything within my power to ensure that he is brought to sufficient justice for his actions.

Unfortunately, it has been brought to my attention that since my last blog post about it, Frozen North Productions has continued to harass me online, to go so far as to create a Wikipedia account solely to maliciously get my entry there deleted. Misssinformative, whoever you are, I appreciate the work you put in to make an article for me, and I’m sorry that your work has since been ruined by these disrespectful liars.
A source confirmed to me earlier today that Frozen North “started the bullshit on wikipedia because of the facebook stuff” (ie the alleged ‘hacking’ of their Facebook account that they’re erroneously trying to blame on me. I wish I could take credit, I suppose, but I can’t.) So, I have proof – albeit verbal – that they admitted to submitting my article for deletion.

Now, here’s where I come right out and say that I have months of chat logs from Julian’s computer. Given the above evidence, I would have to say it supports statements like:

In case you’re wondering, that’s one snippet from one chat log about me. The full screen capture of that chat is here, should you want to see it. I also made a second screencap of another chatlog, one that links directly to the article about me that got flooded with anonymous trolls. You can see that one here, and the full screencap here. I have more, a lot more, and while I am still not actively looking to sink Frozen North, I believe that they need to stop lying about a lot of things and leave me alone, period. Yes, I did some fantastic promotional stuff for them when things were good. Yes, I was the lone woman in the office and that much easier to outcast/dislike/discriminate against/whatever. If it stayed personal and private, I would not have cared what they thought of me and would not be posting about this now. But guess what – when I’m pushed past a certain point, when others’ inexcusable behaviour is allowed to go on without repercussions, I push back.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

I am fighting back now, plain and simply.
And I am well aware that my big mouth and unabashed stances are subject to some scrutiny. That’s fine. I’d be a whole lot happier if we all could get along and if I could spend this time working on scripts/personal projects/at the gym/rehearsing/whatever, but the fact of the matter is that I will not stand for being harassed, defamed, or to see libelous false accusations being posted about work about myself that other people have so graciously contributed. It pisses me off, quite frankly, to see that others’ positive artistic contributions are being so disgraced, never mind the additional impact is has on me. Enough is enough. I’m done with this horse shit.

Now that I’ve probably gotten myself in enough hot water with the above, I have this to say: especially if you’re outside the world of performing, you may not realize just how much work goes into a career in the arts. Right now, I am solely getting by on my acting work, and it’s pretty terrifying at times. Unlike every other industry, there’s a dichotomy: a huge instability in the career itself, not to mention that you pour way more time and trust into strangers than would ever be asked of you elsewhere. I’ve held a gun to a girl’s head that I’ve only known for a couple weeks. Loaded or no, that’s trust. I’ve sometimes gone days or weeks without auditions or gigs or knowing where next month’s rent is coming from. I’ve had to take jobs on the side not related to acting. I’ve spent hours in cold environments, crawled under cars, had spiders on my head, been facing off against onscreen foes with swords that could seriously hurt if we slip up the choreography, and put myself in a billion unfavourable positions, all for the love of the art.

Did you know that most actors make significantly less than $10 000/year at their art? That’s well below the poverty line. Most people are lucky if they make $1000 a year from acting gigs.
But you know what? It’s worth the fight to me. It’s worth the hundreds of auditions for that handful of good roles. It’s worth the instability, the fact that I am pouring probably 60 – 80 hours a week into looking for work and doing auditions and rehearsing and taking on other projects. It’s even worth the attacks from the jealous haters, because that means that I’m going somewhere, that I am apparently such a threat to them that they have to fight to keep me down. Remember the quote, motherfuckers. You fight me, but I win. And I’ve got a whole army behind me of the great, talented, loving, giving people I’ve worked with who I trust and who will back my shit up.

If your passion actually means that much to you, then fight for it. And if you know someone else fighting to establish themselves in the arts, then fight alongside them. They could use the encouragement and support.

And before I forget, get yourselves registered for Futurecon! The registration page is here, and everything you need to know about the event is here. It’s a three day party for NYE, and there’s just four days left before prices go up… don’t miss out on the best party to hit Toronto to ring in 2011!